Phoolish.com

And not one single fuck was given that day.

2010-10-07T19:41:00.002-05:00

Well Placed Graffiti

2010-10-07T19:40:00.000-05:00

Super Mario Rage

2010-10-07T19:29:00.002-05:00

Best pickup line ever.

2010-10-07T19:28:00.002-05:00

DON'T DO IT!

2010-10-07T19:26:00.001-05:00

Oh No

2010-10-07T19:25:00.002-05:00

Wisdom. [comic]

2010-10-02T22:24:00.004-05:00

Nice survey, Skype.

2010-10-02T22:24:00.003-05:00

So, I'm walking through the local Walmart and see this...

2010-10-02T22:24:00.002-05:00

brb going to the future

2010-10-02T22:24:00.001-05:00

Happy bunny

2010-10-02T22:24:00.000-05:00

Wow, this guy is huge.

2010-10-01T21:48:00.005-05:00

I don't even know where to begin.....

2010-10-01T21:48:00.004-05:00

dying from herpes when there is a zombie outbreak....

2010-10-01T21:48:00.003-05:00

Lady of the Trees.

2010-10-01T21:48:00.002-05:00

This dog got the best birthday cake he could ever wish for...

2010-10-01T21:48:00.001-05:00

It's a trap!

2010-10-01T21:48:00.000-05:00

College kids are back in town, time to mix up a batch of these for the middle-of-the-week-late-night party houses,

2010-09-30T21:22:00.005-05:00

Love

2010-09-30T21:22:00.004-05:00

Turn it up...

2010-09-30T21:22:00.003-05:00

All hell is gonna break loose when he lets go of that...

2010-09-30T21:22:00.002-05:00

Perfect wingmen.

2010-09-30T21:22:00.001-05:00

So I'm watching Hulu, and needing to recycle some beer, I hit pause. When I came back my screen, I captured the greatest facial expression. Sorry Tracy.

2010-09-30T21:22:00.000-05:00

Utah bachelorettes going to extreme measures to stay safe

2010-09-29T22:46:00.001-05:00

Anyone else's mom do this?

2010-09-29T22:46:00.000-05:00

How I feel about English (Married to the Sea)

2010-09-29T12:00:00.003-05:00

Zombie - Eat Flesh (decent Subway ad spoof)

2010-09-29T12:00:00.002-05:00

WTF!!!!! GET THIS THING OFF ME!!!!!!

2010-09-29T12:00:00.001-05:00

Are these angels doing what I think they're doing?

2010-09-29T12:00:00.000-05:00

Morning Mist (pic)

2010-09-28T12:06:00.000-05:00

Two Good Reasons To Look Forward To October...

2010-09-28T12:05:00.000-05:00

What are you doing in my house? (pic)

2010-09-28T12:04:00.000-05:00

Whoa, easy there, billboard.

2010-09-28T12:02:00.000-05:00

"He must officiate tens of weddings each week, nonetheless this is his face at my wedding 2 weeks ago."

2010-09-28T12:01:00.000-05:00

This music is deep...

2010-09-28T12:00:00.005-05:00

And you thought your neighborhood was weird....

2010-09-28T00:11:00.002-05:00

Dave got Knifed

2010-09-28T00:10:00.004-05:00

Why so serious?

2010-09-28T00:10:00.002-05:00

Robot Uprising

2010-09-28T00:09:00.001-05:00

Brothers

2010-09-28T00:08:00.001-05:00

Amazing sandcastle, the devils in the details.

2010-09-28T00:07:00.000-05:00

I was grading homework assignments when I found this.

2010-09-27T12:00:00.001-05:00

Vulcan salute hidden in hoodie (PIC)

2010-09-26T12:00:00.001-05:00

I don't have anything clever to say. I love this picture. That is all.

2010-09-25T12:00:00.001-05:00

Michael Jackson is dead?

2010-09-24T12:00:00.002-05:00

:|-(o

2010-09-23T12:00:00.002-05:00

The most influential Police Officer ever, from defeating terrorist to raising a family in public view, this guy gets around.

2010-09-22T12:00:00.002-05:00

My contribution to the male vernacular

2010-09-21T12:00:00.004-05:00

Meanwhile...

2010-09-20T12:00:00.004-05:00

Cutest kitty I've seen this month

2010-09-19T12:00:00.003-05:00

Back to Earth

2010-09-18T12:00:00.003-05:00

Moses - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:19:00.001-05:00

The ultimate badass.
[Demotivational Poster]

Parking - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:18:00.001-05:00

You're doing it wrong.
[Demotivational Poster]

Frustration - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:17:00.002-05:00

Piano make kitty sad.
[Demotivational Poster]

Talk to the Hand 101 - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:16:00.002-05:00

[Demotivational Poster]

Copping a Feel - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:15:00.001-05:00

It's easier for koalas
[Demotivational Poster]

My Parents Went to the Gun Store - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:14:00.001-05:00

and all I got was this lousy riot shield
[Demotivational Poster]

SUDDENLY - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:13:00.001-05:00

Potatoes.
[Demotivational Poster]

Warehouses - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:12:00.002-05:00

They hold a lot of stuff and can chase you when you're not looking.
[Demotivational Poster]

Eugene Levy Cat - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:11:00.001-05:00

Saw what you did wit that pie there
[Demotivational Poster]

Emo Truck - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:10:00.002-05:00

[Demotivational Poster]

Mind Fuck - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:09:00.002-05:00

When you see it, you'll shit bricks.
[Demotivational Poster]

CAPS LOCK - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:08:00.002-05:00

Internet's AK-47
[Demotivational Poster]

Bawls - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:07:00.002-05:00

Because if they called it testicles you wouldn't drink it.
[Demotivational Poster]

The Pubic Hare - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:06:00.002-05:00

one of the few animals not hunted for it's skin.
[Demotivational Poster]

Laughter - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:05:00.003-05:00

Will brighten someone's day
[Demotivational Poster]

Naked Iroh Time - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:04:00.002-05:00

Because physical scarring just isn't enough.
[Demotivational Poster]

Friend Zone - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:03:00.002-05:00

Only good for copping a feel
[Demotivational Poster]

Tank Catapult - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:02:00.003-05:00

Because FUCK YOU
[Demotivational Poster]

Batman - Motivational Poster

2010-09-17T22:01:00.002-05:00

"...did I leave the oven on?"
[Demotivational Poster]

Nigras

2010-09-17T22:00:00.023-05:00

Jesus Fucking Christ
[Demotivational Poster]

Alternative to Child Support

2010-09-17T12:00:00.003-05:00

Where is the "Never" option?

2010-09-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

Roads?

2010-09-15T15:00:00.006-05:00

Found in Norway.

2010-09-15T14:49:00.002-05:00

Justin Bieber.. ...the later years

2010-09-10T11:19:00.001-05:00

Thirty Five Awesome Bookshelf Designs

2010-09-09T09:41:00.002-05:00

Design is everywhere, all the buildings, cars, planes, clothes and even bookshelves are designed by the designers. Such different visual design is good inspiration source for web and graphic designers because it’s totally different creative field somehow related of course.

This collection will help you to feed your imagination with fresh and creative ideas from furniture design range. Some of the listed examples are very creative and you’ll be surprised that bookshelf could look so impressive and be functional in the same time.

1. T.SHELF

2. “Krea” bookcase

3. Saba Italia

4. Twin Shelves

5. The Swollen Wall

6. WisdomTree

7. Cardboard Bookshelf

8. Digitally Fabricated Bookshelf

9. Toboga Bookcase

10. Domino Expo

11. The Laica Bookshelf

12. Bibliotheque Tree

13. MYDNA Twist Bookcase

14. Books on the wall

15. Curly bookshelf

16. Circle

17. Elfa desk

18. “M40″ wardrobe and bookcase

19. Yellow

20. Bookshelf

21. Ideas for the office

22. TOTO

23. MDAY bookcase

24. “Krea” bookcase

25. Sfuggenti scaffali

26. Libraryland

27. Celebrity Equinox: Library

28. A bookshelf designed by Ron Arad

29. Wall of books

30. OBA

31. Max

32. Circle

33. Sinapsi

34. Cebunext

35. Bookcase

Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your HUSBAND they rapin evabody out hurr!

2010-09-06T11:40:00.001-05:00

This is a mix of this awesome meme, and pretty well done too.

16 Awesome Motorcycle Helmets

2010-09-03T09:29:00.009-05:00

When you're ridin' your sweet hog, you can freak people out or give them a good chuckle.

Spiderman Helmet

Watermelon Helmet

Santa Helmet

Skull Helmet

Smiley Helmet

Valentino Rossi Face Helmet (Designed by Aldo Drudi, the “face” helmet was worn by Valentino Rossi during the 2008 Italian Grand Prix at the Mugello Circuit)

Pac-man Helmet

Optimus Prime – Transformer Helmet

Monster Helmet

Lego Helmet

Knight Helmet

Another Knight Helmet

Iron Man Helmet

Hulk Helmet

Evil Clown Helmet

Darth Vader Helmet

Real Headlines from Real Newspapers

2010-09-01T16:37:00.001-05:00

What were they thinking? Do they read their own paper?

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Stud Tires Out

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Deer Kill 17,000

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Air Head Fired

Steals Clock, Faces Time

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

Include your Children when Baking Cookies

Screw With People

2010-08-30T09:01:00.001-05:00

Dozens of ways to screw with people. What would life be without a little fun?

When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

Next time you're at a restaurant, order a diet water.

When someone asks you to do something, ask if they want that super-sized.

Run one lap around the office at top speed.

Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on and off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While a co-worker is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, PLEASE! All of you just shut up!".

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

In a co-worker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and donut, smash each donut with your fist.

During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Play a tape of jungle sounds at work all day.

Send this website to everyone in your address book, even if they have sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom (don't disguise your voice).

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors'.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think".

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Don't use any punctuation.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite sex).

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".

Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, 'Rock Hard'.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week !!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."

Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"

Terrible Bad Writing Excerpts

2010-08-30T08:50:00.002-05:00

The following are real excerpts from actual books. They are terrible.

There was no question about it, my computer was locked up like a crazy aunt in a dark, secluded attic, or like the brakes on my '73 Chevy Impala on a rainy day when my wife is driving the kids to origami lessons and is running late because Isaiah, my son, made a fuss at the last minute and refused to be put into his car seat. (Peter L. Belmonte)

In his arms, I wasn't a girl dreaming of sailing the high seas, and I wasn't a farm kid jumping the train, either, but a fully grown woman riding the soft side of the crescent moon. (Ann Howard Creel)

Sarah felt bored and unsatisfied, even though her job as a nurse's aide included helping patients and keeping track of the billiards equipment in the recreation room at the Venereal Disease Treatment Center, and she wondered what her mother had been thinking all those years when she repeatedly told her that a young lady should mind herpes and cues. (Brad Jolly)

It was a barky and wormy night at Dr. Kilmore's 24-Hour Veterinary Emporium when, right in the middle of his 3:00 AM stool watch, Alberto suddenly realized that, pound for pound, Shih-Tzus swallow more tennis bracelets than most dogs twice their size. (Jan Socie)

When the time came for Timothy to fly the nest, he felt the best years of his life were ahead of him, if only because he had spent the childhood ones living in a nest. (Sian Arthur)

The confidence in his smile... that smile that pulled me in like ice cream melting down a cone. (Ann Howard Creel)

Gerald began - but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash - to pee. (Jim Gleeson)

Danny, the little Grizzly cub, frolicked in the tall grass on this sunny Spring morning, his mother keeping a watchful eye as she chewed on a piece of a hiker they had encountered the day before. (Dave McKenzie)

As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual. (Dan McKay)

Racing through space at unimaginable speeds, Capt. Dimwell could only imagine how fast his spaceship was going. (Gary Smith)

When Detective Riggs was called to investigate the theft of a trainload of Native American fish broth concentrate bound for market, he solved the case almost immediately, being that the trail of clues led straight to the trainmaster, who had both the locomotive and the Hopi tuna tea. (Mitsy Rae)

India, which hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before. (Ken Aclin)

It was high noon in the jungles of South India when I began to recognize that if we didn't find water for our emus soon, it wouldn't be long before we would be traveling by foot; and with the guerilla warriors fast on our heals, I was starting to regret my decision to use poultry for transportation. (Eric Winter)

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday, his children packed his bags and drove him to Golden Pastures retirement complex just off Interstate 95. (Stephen Farnsworth)

Because of her mysterious ways I was fascinated with Dorothy and I wondered if she would ever consider having a relationship with a lion, but I have to admit that most of my attention was directed at her little dog Toto because, after all, he was a source of meat protein and I had had enough of those damn flying monkeys. (Randy Blanton)

The children of Hamelin were led away by a pied piper (it's common knowledge) to parts unknown; whither they went is now herein revealed, however the precise location is cloaked in accordance with International Fantasy Regulation IFR.02.3a governing site specifics as, for example, in any Harry Potter story the locations are indeed identified, but just you try and find them. (P.S. Hamilton)

She walked toward him, her dress billowing in the wind -not a calm and predictable billows like the sea, but more like the billowing of a mildewed shower curtain in a cheap motel where one has to dance around to avoid touching it while trying to rinse off soap. (Kristin Harbuck)

The night resembled nothing so much as the nose of a giant Labrador in excellent health: cold, black, and wet. (Devery Doleman)

After months of pent-up emotions like a caffeine-addict trying to kick the habit, Cathy finally let the tears come, at first dripping sporadically like an old clogged percolator, then increasing slowly like a 10-cup coffeemaker with an automatic drip, and eventually pouring out and noisily wailing like a cappuccino maker complete with slurping froth. (Chris Bui)

The rising sun crawled over the ridge and slithered across the hot barren terrain into every nook and cranny like grease on a Denny's grill in the morning rush, but only until eleven o'clock when they switch to the lunch menu. (Lester Guyse)

Coincidentally, just as Rose hung out the third sheet out to dry, it started to rain down in sheets and not the soft kind like a fine 400-count Egyptian cotton, but more harsh like a cheap poly blend but even so, Rose didn't notice as she was three sheets to the wind. (Barbara Bridges)

Billy Bob gushed like a broken water main about his new love: "She's got long, beautiful, drain-clogging hair, more curves than an under-the-sink water trap, and she moves with the ease of a motorized toilet snake through a four-inch sewer line, but what she sees in me, a simple plumber, I'll never know." (Glenn Lawrie)

The double agent looked up from his lunch of Mahi-Mahi and couscous and realized that he must escape from Walla Walla to Bora Bora to come face-to-face with his arch enemy by taking out his 30-30 and shooting off his nemesis' ear-to-ear grin so he could wave bye-bye to this duplicitous life, but the chances of him pulling this off were only so-so, much less than 50-50. (Charles Jaworski)

They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by coloring it differently. (Mariann Simms)

On holiday in Paris, France, we watched the Parisians sing and dance and soon they made us feel so good we fell into the festive mood of that city's cheerful pace that keeps a smile upon your face where there's such a lot to do and see, but it's hard to find a place to pee. (Walter Hamp)

His knowing brown eyes held her gaze for a seeming eternity, his powerful arms clasped her slim body in an irresistible embrace, and from his broad, hairy chest a primal smell of "male" tantalized her nostrils; "Looks like another long night in the ape house", thought veterinarian Abigail Brown as she gingerly reached for the constipated gorilla's suppository. (Paul Jeffery)

As she contemplated the setting sun, its dying rays casting the last of their brilliant purple light on the red-gold waters of the lake, Debbie realized that she should never again buy her sunglasses from a guy parked by the side of the road. (Malinda Lingwall)

They say she carried her own warmth around with her, like one of those thermoregulating arctic mammals, say, a polar bear, or a baby harp seal (though not a penguin, which is Antarctic, anyway, and not a mammal, but a bird), but she wasn't fat or blubbery, which makes it all the more unbelievable why anyone would have wanted to club her to death for her fur coat, which wasn't even white, I'm told, but black. (Harry H. Buerkett)

I won't delay this story with any fancy "Once upon a time" nonsense, preferring to dive right in, like Pete Rose bowling over Ray Fosse at home plate in the 1970 All-Star game at Riverfront Stadium, erupting a controversy over the point of the All-Star contest since that infamous slide did end Fosse's season and compromise his career in a seemingly pointless exhibition game, which was nothing compared to the subsequent controversies surrounding Charlie Hustle's tax fraud, betting habits, and haircuts. (Elizabeth Metz)

It wasn't the desolate remoteness of the campsite that bothered him, or even the terrifying roar of the rapids beating themselves against solid granite below, so much as the eerie sound of pigs squealing in the distance and the fact that, in this light, cousin Billy looked disturbingly like Ned Beatty. (Cindy Erickson Gilman)

The sobering scene was laid out before Detective Robinson like a centerfold spread in Better Homes and Gardens or Martha Stewart Living, if the splayed bodies could be considered home furnishings such as hand-knotted 100% wool Tibetan area rugs or allergy-free hypodown throw pillows stuffed with European goose down and the blood on the walls had been a carefully spattered burnt vermilion latex paint for a classic aged or contemporary Jackson Pollock-like finish. (Theresa Olin)

Detective Inspector Mike Norman slipped six fingers into his overcoat pocket, five of them clad in a latex glove and attached to his palm, while the sixth was wrapped in a plastic evidence bag and apparently belonged to the kidnapped pianist Ricardo Moore, or, as it now seemed likely, the kidnapped ex-pianist Ricardo Moore. (Alan Campbell)

T'asha lay in bed musing at the slight wrinkles in the down comforter which like waves in a gently wind-blown semi-calm sea heaved gently as she moved her legs under the cover and alternately wiggled her toes, causing a rogue ripple to course across the bed and die against the shore of the pillow. (Bob F. Bledsoe)

He knew that, at most, he had five seconds left to live, one one-thousand, two one-thousand, the gun barrel pointing at his face like a scolding finger, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, the hired assassin Ricardo's grip tightening on the trigger, five white elephants, six white elephants, and then a bright blast of light as he wondered which was really the most accurate way to count five seconds. (Vincent M. Zito)

The rhythmic breathing of my companion was interrupted violently by a fit of coughing, causing the peace of the early morning to be ripped from me as if Richard Simmons had charged into my bedroom in his be-sequined health fervor and started Sweating to the Oldies on the end of my bed. (A. Caywood)

I'd stumbled onto solving my first murder case, having found myself the only eyewitness, yet no matter how frantically I pleaded with John Law that the perp was right in front of them and the very dame they'd been grilling the sultry but devious Miss Kitwinkle, who played the grieving patsy the way a concert pianist player plays a piano the cops just kept smiling and stuffing crackers in my beak. (Chris Esco)

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. (Joseph Romm)

Although Sara could believe the brassiere she had found was from a mix-up at the Laundromat, that the lipstick on Bill's collar really had been from a cramped elevator, that the stiletto heel was indeed something the cat dragged in, when she pulled Chloe's unmistakable prosthetic arm from under the bed, she realized she had been played for a fool. (Nicholas R. Eaton)

"Bring a bottle of wine and wear something uncomplicated I'm in no mood for a struggle tonight," rolled from Jean-Pierre's lips like a bowling ball shooting up the return ramp, only to slow itself abruptly at the top before ka-whonking! into the balls already lined up there like all the lines she had heard before, and Sylvia knew at last that all the good ones were not married, gay, or in Mexican prisons. (James Pokines)

Standing in the concessions car of the Orient Express as it hissed and lurched away from the station, Special Agent Chu could feel enemy eyes watching him from the inky shadows and knew that he was being tested, for although he had never tasted a plug of tobacco in his life, he was impersonating an arms dealer known to be a connoisseur, so he knew that he, the Chosen One, Chow Chu, had no choice but to choose the choicest chew on the choo-choo. (Loren Haarsma)

Terrible Bad Analogies

2010-08-30T08:47:00.001-05:00

The following are real analogies used in books. They are terrible.

The wheel of love had left its tread marks in his chest once too often, like a knobby mud tire on a monster truck, or like a really big ponce wheel, the kind that tailors use to punch little holes in patterns and that would leave lots of nasty little welts if you were to run it up and down your arm. (Peter Loughlin)

I saw her sitting at the bar. I approached. "Hello," she said in a voice so husky it could pull a dogsled. (Dan Yell)

Mitzi's wet T-shirt clung to her torso like paint on the nose cone of a jumbo jet. (James Macdonald)

Captain Burton stood at the bow of his massive sailing ship, his weathered face resembling improperly cured leather that wouldn't even be used to make a coat or something. (Bryan Semrow)

The sun rose over the horizon like a great big radioactive baby's head with a bad sunburn, but then again it might just have been that Lisa was always cranky this early in the morning. (Debra Allen)

Jane was toast, and not the light buttery kind, nay, she was the kind that's been charred and blackened in the bottom of the toaster and has to be thrown a away because no matter how much of the burnt part you scrape off with a knife, there's always more blackened toast beneath, the kind that not even starving birds in winter will eat, that kind of toast. (Beth Knutson)

As Fiona slowly drew the heavy velvet curtain aside, her eyes smoldered black, deep, and dark as inside the lungs of a coal miner, although it would be black in anyone's lungs if you could get in there because there wouldn't be any light, even in the pink ones of people who don't smoke. (Lou A. Waller)

Having O.J. try on the bloody glove was a stroke of genius unseen since the debut of Goober on "Mayberry R.F.D". (John Kammer)

Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony)

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. (Roy Ashley)

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. (Chuck Smith)

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. (Russell Beland)

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth (Paul Kocak)

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. (Jack Bross)

Just like (or as) a bicycle rider lifts his butt from the seat when he sees a bump coming, so Bob pulled back, emotionally, when Alice got angry. (Jim Caughran)

She danced with the grace and elegance of a pregnant cow. (Patricia Kilday)

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel)

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. (Russell Beland)

After sending in my entries for the Style Invitational, I feel relieved and apprehensive, like a little boy who has just wet his bed. (Wayne Goode)

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man." (Russell Beland)

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. (Jennifer Hart)

The moon looked like a discarded toenail clipping submersed in a puddle of saliva on a black formica countertop. (Lindsay Robertson)

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. (Rich Murphy)

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. (Wayne Goode)

We are all like those little pink and blue plastic people in the game of Life. (Meghann Olson)

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. (Russell Beland)

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. (Barbara Fetherolf)

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free (Chuck Smith)

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. (Jennifer Frank and Jimmy Pontzer)

She was sending me more mixed signals than a dyslexic third-base coach. (Jack Bross)

She felt used and unwanted, like the two chocolate halves of an Oreo cookie after someone has already licked the cream out of them. (Kristi Herd)

My underwear stuck to my backside like an All-Pro cornerback to a rookie wide receiver as I browsed through the seed catalog that had mistakenly found its way into my mailbox. (Ron Calabrese)

Chicken: it's like a cow, but different. (Ben Olson)

His fountain pen was so expensive it looked as if someone had grabbed the pope, turned him upside down and started writing with the tip of his big pointy hat. (Jeffrey Carl)

Facepalmtree

2010-08-25T11:52:00.000-05:00

Do You Like Dogs? I Love Dogs.

2010-08-20T07:56:00.004-05:00

Here are ten interesting pics of dogs that you've probably never seen before.

i asked you to wash the dog...

So this guy rolls up beside me on my way home from work

Notorious D.O.G.

Dog photobombed my pic

Dog playing Follow the Leader.

My dog is so lazy

This is my dog cross-dressing.

What the fuck did you just say?

My dog. She has one errant canine tooth thats always sticking out, the other is always in. I like it.

Keanu dog

Six Random Fun Pics You've Never Seen Before

2010-08-18T20:54:00.005-05:00

The Joy of Mentally Abusing a Pug By Making it Look Ridiculous

2010-08-15T20:46:00.001-05:00

NBC's 2010 Fall Lineup Released

2010-08-15T20:43:00.000-05:00

11-year-old girl gives birth in Northeastern hospital

2010-08-15T15:15:00.002-05:00

An 11-year-old girl gave birth to a baby boy somewhere in the Northeast, the girl’s family reported to Fox News.

Details about the family and their location were withheld due to the girl’s shockingly young age, but the girl’s mother made a creepily blase statement about her daughter’s ordeal:

“My daughter and (her) baby are fine, and the baby is absolutely beautiful,” said the mother of the 11-year-old girl.

The unnamed girl isn’t the only one in the news for having a child while still a child this week- a nine-year-old Chinese girl delivered a baby by c-section this week in Changchun. Pregnancy at such a young age is extremely risky, and children of that age are rarely at a proper developmental stage to physically handle the condition without complications. A national expert on high risk pregnancy, Abdullah Al-Khan, spoke to Fox about the risks to which the girl was exposed:

“Her body is clearly not defined for pregnancy with its short stature,” Al-Khan said. “Her chest is not extensively developed for breast tissue, her bones aren’t quite fused, and once you expose a child this young to high amounts of progesterone and especially estrogen, there is (a possibility) that it could halt her growth.”

15 Banned and Controversial Children’s Books

2010-08-12T16:11:00.002-05:00

When you think of book banning, you imagine it being some horrid, freedom-depriving act that used to take place long ago…maybe even a hundred years ago or longer. The truth? Book banning still takes place in the United States. Every year, hundreds of books, including children’s books, are challenged for various reasons, and many have been banned.
Just check out these 15 banned and commonly challenged children’s books.

1. The Dictionary

No better place to start than with the most ridiculous ban on this list. Merriam Webster and American Heritage dictionaries have been banned in many schools for its definition of oral sex and other crude terms. In fact, the Merriam Webster dictionary was just banned in a California elementary school earlier this year for this exact reason.

2. Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

This beloved children’s book has been banned from Texas schools over a simple case of name confusion. See, the author of the book, Bill Martin, shares the same name as a controversial political author.

3. Harry Potter Series

The Harry Potter series has been named the most challenged book of the past decade. Christian activists say that the book promotes witchcraft and other evil activities.

4. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Many school libraries have stopped carrying the Mark Twain classic because of racism and offensive language. Critics say it can have a negative influence on young minds, and during the 90s, it was the fifth most challenged book.

5. Forever

Judy Blume is regularly a target of the book banners. Forever is her most challenged book because it deals with issues like losing your virginity and other sexual behavior.

6. Blubber

What do you know? It’s another Judy Blume book. This book is about a school girl who’s teased for being overweight. It’s been banned due to fear of bullying.

7. Sylvester and the Magic Pebble

12 states have tried to get libraries to ban this children’s book because it portrays policemen as pigs.

8. James and the Giant Peach

The famous Roald Dahl book was banned for violence, language, disobedience toward adults, and obscenity.

9. The Witches

Another Roald Dahl book, The Witches was banned for sexism and devaluing life. Its themes of witchcraft were also criticized by religious groups.

10. The Golden Compass

This fantasy novel (and recently, a major movie) has been regularly challenged for its anti-religion messaging.

11. And Tango Makes Three

This children’s book is a sweet tale of two male penguins caring for an egg together. Of course, two males bonding and creating a family doesn’t go over well with some parents as they say it promotes homosexuality and anti-family issues.

12. The Chocolate War

Every kid knows about selling chocolate to raise money for school. This book is about a child who refused to sell chocolate and was punished for it. Reasons for its banning include language, sexuality, violence, and anti-authority behavior.

13. A Light In The Attic

Shel Silverstein can be proud to have one of the most banned books of the 1990s. The collection of poems for children has been banned for encouraging disobedience, horror, and violence.

14. How to Eat Fried Worms

The classic story about a boy who bets he can eat 15 fried worms in 15 days has been banned in the past for promoting unseemly behavior.

15. Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark

The Scary Stories series have been banned and challenged for its disturbing images and frightening stories. Simply put, some believe the books are too scary for kids.

Have you read any of these banned children’s books? Will you let your kids read them?

8 Cool Undiscovered Family Vacation Spots

2010-08-12T16:01:00.001-05:00

Tired of going on vacation to spots crowded with tourists? Want to go somewhere that feels like you’re blazing your own trail? A place where, when you tell your friends you’re going, they get a bewildered look on their face that says, “Where?!”

When Disney World, the Grand Canyon, and New York City just don’t cut it anymore for your family vacation, it’s time to consider one of these 8 super cool and super undiscovered vacation spots.

1. Maldives

Want a beach that’s not crowded? One that’s even more gorgeous than the ones in the Caribbean and Mexico? One where your whole family can kick back and relax? The Maldives might be just the spot you’re looking for. This cluster of islands in the Indian Ocean has beautiful beaches that have yet to be spoiled by tourists. You can enjoy gorgeous, first class hotels, do some sailing, and just indulge yourself in the beauty.

2. Croatia

Croatia is the largely unseen part of the Mediterranean. The country was created in the early 1990s when Yugoslavia was split up. It has everything you’d expect from a Mediterranean destination: beautiful homes, waterfront cafes, gorgeous waters…you name it. It’s a great destination your whole family is sure to enjoy. And with its close proximity to other hot European destinations, like Vienna, you can make a big family trip of it.

3. Puglia

Looking for something new to do in Italy? If your family has already seen the main Italy hot spots, Pulgia is one of the country’s up and coming hotspots. Relatively tourist-free, Pulgia has everything you need to have a great time—amazing food, plenty of local wine, breathtaking beaches, and a culture rich with history. It’s a luxury destination that makes for a memorable first class vacation.

4. Budapest

Perhaps the most popular city on this list, Budapest still isn’t overrun with tourists. It’s a town that’s loaded with history (some of it troubling) and influenced by multiple cultures. While Budapest doesn’t get the attention that Prague does, it’s every bit as deserving of a spot on the must-see European destinations. It’s a city you can do a lot of walking around in, so make sure your family has walking shoes.

5. Anaconda, Montana

How fun does this sound: more than ten casinos, local pubs and restaurants, one of the most beautiful theaters in the country (Washoe Theater), and a golf course designed by Jack Nicholas? These are just a few of the things to do in Anaconda, Montana. You can also take a short drive out of town to Storm Lake where you can do some fishing. There really is something to do for every member of your family.

6. Black River Harbor, Michigan

Love the outdoors and camping? Black River Harbor is a largely unknown spot that boasts incredible outdoor beauty. There are five waterfalls you can easily hike to and beaches not too far away (across the bridge). The area also is home to Copper Peak, one of the world’s tallest ski flying slopes. It’s shocking that more families don’t know about this hidden treasure.

7. Corpus Christi, Texas

Texas families know that if you want to find quiet, beautiful beaches, Corpus Christi is the place to go. The bayfront has undergone a lot of recent improvements, and almost anywhere you go in the city, you’ll have a great beach awaiting you. Enjoy the shops, wildlife, and just kicking back on the beach.

8. Grenadines

This is the hidden Caribbean. It’s a set of islands between Grenada and St. Vincent that have been visited by top movie stars and rock stars. It’s been featured in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and it’s one of the few spots in the Caribbean where you can enjoy some peace and quiet on a beautiful white-sand beach. If a quite beach is what your family is looking for, this is your new favorite spot.

What are some of your favorite under-the-radar vacation spots?

Try Not to Throw Up While You're Wearing a Motorcycle Helmet

2010-08-12T08:02:00.002-05:00

Tigers and Pigs, BF 4Evar!

2010-08-11T11:18:00.001-05:00

Some Links From a New Site I'm Doing

2010-08-09T16:13:00.002-05:00

Been busy with teamsandwich.com, a new entertainment site that focuses only on photos. Here is a sample of what's going on over there:

Good Source for Child Safety Tips!
This embodies everything that it means to be ghetto [PIC]
Tesla's Advice...
Thank you Pedobear, for making Justin Bieber (at least a little bit more) listenable.
Dat ass...photobomb
Chevy Chase...
Full Service a.k.a. Lazy Bitch
Dear YouTube, you ask me every time we hang out. The answer is NO. Stop asking!
The lucky little sperm says....
Damn Starbucks, You Scary!
In case of fire, use batcave.

Shannon (the secretary) Lost Her Cat

2010-07-30T14:35:00.003-05:00

Shannon (the secretary) lost her cat and has asked David (the graphic designer) to help with a lost poster. This is their email correspondence...

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

What Drinking Will Do To You

2010-07-28T13:40:00.006-05:00

Here I present nine animals that have drank various amounts of alchohol, witness the effects, what a grave and urgent warning this is.

6 Beers

2 Glasses of Wine

2 Bottles of Wine - Shared of Course

Too Many Margaritas

3 Kamikazes

7 Rum & Cokes

1 Large Purple Haze

3 Martinis

1 Bottle of Tequila

Weird Purple Soldier Creature Things Have to Catch the Bus Too

2010-07-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

What the Hell, Superman!

2010-07-23T10:35:00.002-05:00

Superman, we don't need to know about your weird fetishes ok?

"I apologize for mis-judging you, darling! Now please hurry up and fix that painting! I don't want to look like this!"

"Ha, Ha! I'll fix it only after I've kissed you! I want to know how it feels to kiss a woman who has a mustache!"

"But of course this imaginary adventure will never happen to Lois...or will it?"

I'm Not Moving, Not Budging an Inch

2010-07-23T10:30:00.000-05:00

This owl is determined.

Dog Bitten By a Rattlesnake

2010-07-23T10:26:00.001-05:00

This dog just looks so sad, and yet also adorable. That is one swollen dogface I'll tell you that.