Monday, July 19, 2010

One-Liners - Page Four

One Liners, Page One
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There's no future in time travel.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Corduroy pillows - they're making headlines!

Polynesia - memory loss in parrots.

One-Liners - Page Three

One Liners, Page One
One Liners, Page Two
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Would a wingless fly be called a walk?

Is a shell-less turtle homeless or just naked?

Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

One-Liners - Page Two

One Liners, Page One
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I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

I was happier than a kitten with a Q-tip.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

I was busier than a beaver in a coffee lake.

I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over.

One-Liners - Page One

One Liners, Page Two
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I bet you I could stop gambling.

I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided.

I can't get enough minimalism.

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

Do ten millipedes equal one centipede?

9 Hilarious and Real Yard Signs

Most people hear “yard sign,” and immediately think of those flimsy paper signs used to support someone’s political campaign. Every few years someone comes knocking on your door wanting to put a sign in your front yard. But sometimes people put signs in their yards to be smartasses, advertise a product, or just out of spite. Check it out.

1.



Look, we’re all entitled to believe in what we want. You believe in the right to bear arms? Great. You don’t? Great.

Hopefully, if you don’t believe in the right to bear arms you don’t live next door this guy. Otherwise, you’re screwed!

Conan O’Brien’s Love/Hate Relationship with the Internet


Back in January Conan O’Brien was supposed to come to San Francisco for a SF Sketchfest Tribute and Q&A about his career. And then, he lost his dream job as he said, “shit really hit the fan” and he had to cancel. He finally made good on that gig last night at the Herbst Theatre in San Francisco, and it was far more revealing than his 60 Minutes interview. I’d gone expecting to hear an “Inside the Actor’s Studio” style retrospective. What we got instead was more than three hours of O’Brian, Patton Oswalt and Andy Richter drinking heavily on stage and talking about how the Internet has utterly ripped the media business in two over the course of their careers.

Video: The greatest corporate viral marketing campaign ever

We’re a couple of days late to this but the sheer ingeniousness of it warrants a thread. Everyone recognizes the Old Spice Guy from the Super Bowl, right? Okay. As a marketing stunt, management decided to put him together with a camera crew, a writing team, and some social-networking nerds and solicit questions from readers on Twitter, Facebook, etc. In rat-a-tat fashion, they wrote, recorded, and uploaded their responses to YouTube as quickly as they could — and ended up with 87 of them in the course of three days. As word got around, they started getting questions from George Stephanopoulos, Demi Moore, Perez Hilton, and so forth; many of the clips received several hundred thousand views and the grand finale is already over a million. The goodwill and celebrity buzz they earned from such a fast, inexpensive display of humor and tech-savvy is off the charts. It’s a master stroke, to the point where I wonder whether any other company will have the stones to mimic them. So identified will this particular genre of ‘Net marketing now be with Old Spice that any emulation will seem like a rip-off.
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