Tuesday, October 8, 1996

Top Ten U.S. Soccer Team Excuses

10.Got a hold of some bad World Cup chowder
9.Kept getting heckled by Spike Lee
8.Brazilians released horrible stinging bugs from the rain forest
7.Really sleepy from stuff in "Good Luck" gift basket sent by Dwight Gooden
6.Remembered we're Americans and that it's OK to suck at soccer if you're American
5.Afraid if we beat Brazil, Brazilians would get depressed, not work as hard, and coffee prices would go up
4.Us: Players named Jim. Them: Players named Pablo. You figure it out, Sherlock.
3.Who can think about a dumb game when Sirajul and Mujibur are going coast-to-coast?
2.Goalie distracted when he saw his wife sitting with Bob Barker
1.Everywhere we looked -- Brazilians!

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