Tuesday, October 8, 1996

Top Ten Good Things About Not Winning A Medal

10.No problem getting through metal detector on trip home
9.Five words: Year's supply of turtle wax
8.Sure they give you the gold medal, but they make you pay plenty for the matching earrings.
7.Aren't subject to Clinton's new gold medal tax
6.Instead of being "Joe, the fastest skier in the world," it's kind of nice just to be "Dorky Ol' Joe"
5.Sympathy goes a long way with Norwegian chicks.
4.You won't get mugged for it on the D-Train.
3.Don't have to go to White House and jog with bloated president
2.Fame and wealth often inspire strangers to break into your home.
1.Gillooly won't push for a reconciliation.

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