Tuesday, October 8, 1996

Top Ten Signs You're Not Going to Win a Medal

10.Instead of music, you're ice dancing to Larry King's radio show.
9.Right this minute you're shoveling driveways for beer money.
8.You're the only speed skater not wearing pants.
7.Two words: Team Fiji
6.Instead of the Olympic Village, you're staying at the Lillehammer Days Inn.
5.You're in the biathlon and you exchanged your rifle for a Toys 'R' Us gift certificate.
4.It takes a bottle of corn oil to get you in and out of your luge suit.
3.You trained for the last four years by throwing hatchets at your living room wall.
2.Your ice dancing partner is Roseanne Arnold.
1.Your name is Tonya Harding.

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